Sick Days

In the 8 months that Emma has been home, she has really only had 2 colds and the beginning stages of an ear infection. I have thought about how fortunate she...and I...have been that she has been so healthy. The poor little girl has so many other things to heal that it has been nice for her not to have to deal with being sick. This week she has been suffering from a high fever and a bad cough. She has been so miserable that all she has really wanted to do since Wednesday afternoon is lay on top of me. She has been shaking, crying and just all around sad. It has made me think about what her sick days were like in China. When she was sick, did her foster mom let the dishes and laundry pile up and just lay on the couch all day with her? Was she held in the orphanage by her young nanny when she was sad and shivering? Did they just give her some meds and move on to the next little one? She has physical scars that make me really question how she was cared for there. I have been trying to understand it from a cultural and situational sense and not from a "that's my baby" heart. Now that we have had some time to get to know each other and get through the initial struggles, I find myself thinking more and more about her life in China. I thought about it while we were waiting but it was so much more vague...is she born yet, where is she, what does she look like, is she in the middle of the terrible snow storms? I catch myself thinking about what the details of her life might be all the time.
My hope is that when Emma begins to ask these questions...which everyone says that she will...I will have an answer that will satisfy her need to know her past.